Comments : Black hole (haiku)

  • 3 years ago

    by Brenda

    Naaz, a lovely tribute to Mr. Hawkins. Your line count is correct, syllables are right. Nicely done first Haiku!

  • 3 years ago

    by Jamie

    I have such a love affair with haikus and senryus. But as Brenda has stated this a perfectly fine haiku. It deals with human emotion in nature. anyway breaking down the poem itself.

    Just going for the title itself and not reading the rest of the poem, I love it because it is a mystery just like the black hole itself and I love being able to take my imagination for a ride and think about what something could actually mean. But from the recent death of Stephen Hawking, I can I think safely assume it might be about him. Or one might think it could be about space itself.

    Line one- This line is a very powerful one, and one that also can hold a lot of meaning. To me this symbolizes someone who was trapped inside a disability or someone who is struggling to overcome something. Of course with this line I always think about the famous poem, about the caged bird, and its such a great line. But Putting "is Now" at the end of it makes me think they might have escaped and finally free.

    line two- Great continuation. This is exactly the type of wording that needed to be said here. There needed to be an action, and now it tells me as the reader that the caged bird HAS escaped and now they are free. I do love how you used universe here as well because, It makes the title make sense. Because the universe and black holes are connected as one. and again I get the feeling the first point was right. because universe and black holes were Stephen Hawking's thing.

    Line Three- I love how this line is connected to the rest of the poem because it makes it a great story. This line tells me that this person has passed away and now they are trying to find their place in the universe above. I truly loved this poem, because not only is it well written, it tells a story. well done.

  • 3 years ago

    by Em (marmite)

    No words can explain or say what others haven't just glad it's nominated :)

  • 3 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    this is excellent

  • 3 years ago

    by naaz

    Wow, thank you so much guys(Brenda, Em, Ben, Jamie)!
    OMG, Can't believe, I got such beautiful compliments from all of you!

  • 3 years ago

    by Ya----Na

    Naaz very beautiful poem exactly like your nature towards other. I am not so good with comments so please do not mind my short comments. But I loved your poem from the bottom of my heart. Glad to see it is nominated.

  • 3 years ago

    by gumshuda

    Well, for a first haiku, this piece is marvelous. And you really do well, do not think otherwise.

  • 3 years ago

    by Em (marmite)

    Judging Comment - Black hole (haiku) by naaz points 7 - personally I feel that haikus/senryus do not get the recognition they deserve because they're such short pieces but this piece by naaz said quite alot in such a limited word count.. The image is one which feels me with a little hope yet saddens me as Stephen Hawking's was ‘a caged bird’ around these part but since he's passed over, I believe that he will have ‘found his lost nest’ and now he can be one with the earth/galaxy he studied so much without any limitations in my eyes. Powerful short piece

  • 2 years ago

    by End Of Eternity

    Really loved it....so much expressed with such few words :)

  • 2 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    There is a picture and you have
    put me as a reader into it with so much
    depth to it...well done

  • 2 years ago

    by Mortal Utopia

    This is amazing, I love it so much :)

  • 2 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    A beautiful tribute. Perfectly penned. Great job on the Haiku and for receiving an HM!