My daughter here I speak.
Here I wish your little ears could hear me.
Mistakes I’ve made have caused me to lose being your father everyday.
I left to fix me and turned around and ruined what’s important in this life I’m living.
Back in the day I tried killing myself.
Sad but true I put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger wanting a bullet to go through.
Somehow some way the firing pin was messed up so it ruined my first and only attempt.
Now I’m empty and I’m also without you.
I know I’m a screwup I know I’ve done nothing but mess up who I am.
But being a father/dad was all I ever did right.
It gave me peace in the hell I was living.
Now I see I ruined and still ruin everything good around me.
I’m no good for anyone. Everyday I feel it worse.
The feeling of how much peace everyone would have without me here.
How many solutions would be made from the problems I’ve created if only I wasn’t a waste.
I love you Ceci more then anything.
I’m sorry I effed up im sorry for being me....
