Comments : Two Footprints in the Sand

  • 2 months ago

    by Ben Pickard

    You have a delicacy with your words, Daniel, that is truly a talent and cannot be learnt.

    All the best and stay well.

  • 2 months ago

    by Star

    ^
    Ooh yes he does!! This left me feeling cold.
    It is good to read something from you Daniel!!

  • 2 months ago

    by Brenda

    Nicely written Daniel! This write flowed, well like water, lol. Well done-

  • 2 months ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Glad to see this nomated. A superb piece not forced, flows well full of emotion. Milly x

    • 2 months ago

      by Daniel

      Brenda, Milly, Star and Ben - thank you for your kind words :) it was nice to post something for the first time in a small while

  • 2 months ago

    by Em (marmite)

    Glad to see this nominated

  • 2 months ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    There's a deliberate tone to these words that bear more than imagery. There is a weight of loss and memory too. To me, this careful walk through sepia sand is haunting.
    Excellent.

    • 2 months ago

      by Daniel

      Thanks Michael and Dagmar. It’s a little snapshot of a much larger story :)

  • 2 months ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    I am glad to see this nominated. There is something about this that goes much deeper. Add to my favorite. All the best to you

  • 2 months ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Reading this the first few times, I honestly didn't think you needed so many commas, as the way you placed and spaced the lines gave a natural pause. Like the third, fourth and fifth stanza I thought didn't need the commas, but that's completely my opinion! I feel like a pause is implied when you skip a line. There's a tenderness in this, of the worry and wonder if the ocean and storms will be cruel, if tonight will be the night. That even the best of sailors, the most prepared of men, can fall prey to this storm and be captured by it. I also loved how you mentioned the kiss good morning but not goodbye, that emphasis that it is not the end.

    The anticipation at the end and the anxiety is palpable, the softest patter of rain can turn into a nightmare.

    • 2 months ago

      by Daniel

      Yeah, sometimes I do that by mistake! I write poems in big blocks sometimes then separate them into stanzas afterwards, leaving some of the punctuation behind. I agree there’s too many! I’ve actually removed a couple :)