This is so good. You have clearly thought through, the pace and weight of the timeline so as to drop details until the conclusion slotted in comfortably.
The internal rhyme was good as was the poems format. A story that I'll keep in my favourites.
This needs highlighting.
This poem is so well written and definitely leaves the reader thinking. Too often funerals ARE the only place and time that familys ' meet up" which is very sad :/
" Cutlery on china
never sounded so loud"
Loved this expression.
So much heaviness in this, and often, uncomfortable to read. It's so hard because what is ever the right or wrong thing to say? When family speaks their minds but may also be self-conscious on why they didn't do more, visit more, etc. How will they be perceived by other family members? Those ending lines gave me such a taste of sadness, the overwhelming loss and wonder what to do now...
I feel super uncomfortable at funerals. My cousin died a few years ago. I loved him so much, he was like my big brother. But nobody else in the family (except his parents) was saddened by his death as much as I was. At his funeral, I was feeling devastated, so it felt pretty hurtful to hear my relatives talking about the weather, their kids, schools, work... etc. This piece was full of unease and feeling of loneliness. They're family members, blaming each other for being so busy to visit or call. But in fact, they're not close at all, they don't even have memories of each other. Very sad.