Comments : The Spectrum of The Winding Street

  • 2 months ago

    by Star

    Wooooooooooooooow, I do not remember this, is it your first time posting it?

    • 2 months ago

      by Everlasting

      Nope. I posted this one in the other account. The one I deleted. I don’t remember having posted on this account though.

  • 2 months ago

    by Jamie

    I vaguely remember this one. But i nominated it because it has excellent imagery and storytelling.

  • 2 months ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    There were a few times I thought too many commas were used, unnecessarily, but of course that's just my opinion.

    Like:

    "watch through broken,
    closed shutters,"

    and

    "then terror,
    in the entire neighborhood,"

    I thought the line break was enough of a pause to not need the comma in the first lines.

    My favorite line, however, was "to turn their beds into a cemetery for the living"
    AHH, that would sound even more haunting in spoken word!

    Before reading the ending, what I actually thought about this piece was a woman seducing men and you turned it into a horror poem. Elaborating that perhaps the idea of women who seek out married men, seek to destroy their foundation and do not care if the men are fathers, was some form of evil. Of retribution. And the family would have to deal with the aftermath when they wake.

    • 2 months ago

      by Everlasting

      Ah, me and commas and periods ( punctuation overall) don’t get along too well. I try to befriend them too often but seems their company isn’t the most adequate at times. Thank you for your comment.

  • 2 months ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    I know it's wrong to crave this, heel walking, crimson clad, murdering beauty, but I'm spellbound. If you give me her number, she can have my kids. Deal?

    • 2 months ago

      by Everlasting

      Haha I don’t think that’s how it works

  • 2 months ago

    by Daniel

    This is really accomplished, even if it is old. Good storytelling, and broken up nicely.