Where are you?

Being a parent is hard.
Running on three hours of sleep;
Is hard.
Worrying about bills and work schedules and babysitters-
Is hard.
Juggling a kid and a job as well as family and friends on top of a marriage,
Is hard.
Not knowing who to turn to or what to say;
Not knowing how to say how I feel or where to even begin with any of it,
Is hard.
Going through the first half of a pregnancy with an emotionally abusive boyfriend,
Was hard.
Dealing with my own mental health while I was having four doctors appointments a week;
Was all hard.
But you wanna know what was really hard?
Losing you.
Losing you has been ridiculously hard and while I’m over here juggling a life and marriage of my own;
My absolute best friend is nowhere around me.
And now I’m moving-
Three and a half away from you because it’s what’s best for my daughter so she can live in a better area;
and you had to bail on seeing me last weekend and I’m angry about it.
Everything is just so hard;
And you’re supposed to make my life easier by being here for me.
So where the hell are you?