Comments : Reconciliation

  • 4 years ago

    by Anne Moore

    I loved it! so short but it spoke volumes... Truly heartachingly beautiful.

    • 4 years ago

      by Star

      Thank you Anne ^_^

  • 4 years ago

    by Obscure

    The feeling that this brings is truly heartbreaking. She's not there, so he must wait forever.

    • 4 years ago

      by Star

      Thanks Obscure :))

  • 4 years ago

    by prasanna

    "Chills tapped on his spine
    as the street light flickered."

    I love the imagery of this, it's a unique way of saying 'shivers run down one's back'; they way you worded it makes it more unsettling, personifying the shivers. The contrast between that and the flickering street lights paints this to be a dark/horror piece. You also wrote it with pace in mind: direct to the point with no flowery language to offer a reprieve.

    "He glanced over his shoulder
    and saw her shadow
    linking arms with his."

    Keeping in track with what I said earlier about pace, you continue that, offering a fact to the narrative and letting suspense build. Shadows linking with one another is worrying, keeping in line with the dark/horror tone you've set earlier.

    ".
    .
    .
    The night deepened;

    he waited for her."

    And all that suspense you've built pays off; the reader comes to learn that he waits for her/the shadow. I really like the usage of 'night deepened', it's vivid and extremely fitting to this poem. It ties back in with the shadows linking with one another, painting a picture of more and more shadows coming out (?) or perhaps a lack of light (symbolizing hope, etc). The decision to wait for her is intriguing, is he giving up all hope? or is he so distraught by a loss (her shadow) he's willing to do anything to get her back.

    A really nice write that's sort of a departure from what you normally write. I really wish I had a nomination :(

    • 4 years ago

      by Star

      Really great comment Mark, thank you so much *_*