The part that spoke to me the most was 1) becoming used to and possibly ambivalent to the pain so it does not shock or drag you down and 2) opening your eyes yet still calling yourself "dormant" - like a volcano, capable of erupting, but hasn't in a long time. So you remain quiet, perhaps unnoticed, as you try to take on the responsibility of holding all the pain and anger and volatile emotions inside.

Interesting write!

Welcome back, Gel. Good to see you posting again.