Holy guacamole. You need to post more on here, your voice is incredible in this.
This would be awesome as spoken word. I have so much respect for writers who not only share aspects of their lives but are vulnerable in their work and share their growth, their inspiration. Like you've done here. This feels like a coming-of-age story/poem/prose.
The consistent theme of being a background character in your own life - wow. I've never heard it worded like that.
"But just because I ignored the darkness didn’t mean it wasn’t there"
^ So much wisdom in this! I like how you googled search how you were feeling because so often, I feel like we look for tangible answers or solutions or even to know that someone else has felt the same and asked the same things. It diminishes the fear just a bit.
I love the message in this, how you told it and the beauty of being appreciated by friends, realizing that our efforts and fight and struggle are worth it. That our voice isn't unimportant even in the times where it's small or meek.