Comments : Title help please!

  • 3 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "Just because my heart is broken
    Doesn't mean that it can't mend."

    ^ YES, that's some truth right there!

    Was not a big fan of
    "especially when life gets bumpy" in the next stanza, it felt like it downplayed the importance and degree of loving yourself more.

    The last lines were like a pick-me-up, great flow and radiated a positivity.

    I noticed there was kind of an inconsistent rhyme, sort of free-for-all, which felt more authentic honestly. I wasn't sure at first of the flow, some lines did seem awkward in their phrasing, but I liked how when you felt the need to rhyme, you did, otherwise you didn't. No reservations.

    I really felt YOU in this piece, your earnest attitude, the way you appreciate and perhaps still see and bring out the good in others, despite going through turmoil and pain.

    Hmm, for title suggestions, anything along the themes or playing around with "broken", "beauty". That is what the reader is left with, though I did like your mentions of realizing you were being taken advantage of and the sadness that is felt there, as many of us have when we've given so much of ourselves only to have that trust broken. Something along the lines of puzzles, putting pieces back together, still giving all of yourself despite knowing people might break or mishandle/use you?

    Keep it up!

    • 3 years ago

      by CânnâBîsh

      Wow, omg thank you for taking you time to read my peice! & So in depth with your feedback. I respect you for that. I hope you have a lovely day. God bless. (: (:

  • 3 years ago

    by The Poet Behind The Poems

    This is a remarkable piece... sad but yet enlightening

    Well done very well penned

  • 3 years ago

    by AnnaCG

    Beautiful poem with a good message. Well written.