Comments : Mortification

  • 2 months ago

    by Star

    Radiating memories grab
    onto your core,
    Paralyzing pain crawls up
    your spine.
    Yet I send you a raft
    with a comfy chair
    and a fresh cup of coffee ..


    The title is horrifying, I think it sets a mood for the poem early on, which is why it is clever.
    Sending you best wishes <3

  • 2 months ago

    by Tony Grannell

    Hello Andrea,
    'Misguided energy': an interruption to the norm, both the mental and physical to one's wellbeing. A disturbance(s) as if out of nowhere and disturbingly portrayed in this captivating poem. May you find fairer weather and a pleasant ocean to sail. Your writings are as profound as they are eminent in the province of poetry. Excellent!

    Wishing you the very best, Tony,

  • 2 months ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Woah, the "pain only comes in waves" hit hard. And those last few lines. Heartbreaking. I don't think there is anything that can be as painful as the drowning feeling, a helplessness, a fog you can't just escape from.

    Oh, one little thing: "Iv'e" should be "I've" in the last stanza.

    Thinking of you always dear <3

  • 1 month ago

    by mistake

    At first I wasn’t sure I liked this, rereading through a second time is when it really hit me. I hope the sun comes out for you and it gravity is enough to reduce the waves to something more bearable. Good wishes x