Comments : Aftermath

  • 3 years ago

    by prasanna

    "Now that the storm has settled,
    I walk back along the trail,
    everything in black and white,
    it makes me choke."

    This is an intriguing opening, the concept of everything in being black and white - whether it's morals or memories itself, choking on it is a powerful image and really does set the tone for this piece.

    "As I breathe in particles of dust,
    a fire breaks out in my chest,
    it burns, hurts,
    it makes me cry.
    Like a spell in the air,
    that tastes bitter but brings
    all the ruins back to life."

    Okay, first of all wow! The imagery and the way you worded it is subpar, I really love the idea of a spell that is bitter yet brings the broken to life again, and wish that I was the first to word it.

    "I lived in fear of this war
    not knowing that even peace
    has a heavy price."

    You tie in with the earlier sentiment of ruins coming back to life by noting that even peace has a heavy price, and it's extremely true. Sometimes the cost of peace is outrageous, something that we have to pay off for a very long time, and peace itself can be restrictive, exhausting to commit to.

    "I've been stuck in the hurricane
    for years, going back and forth,
    violently tossed around,
    today all sounds were hushed,
    today, I shall dwell in its aftermath."

    I know the ending is sad, but there's something extremely calming and peaceful about the very last line 'today, I shall dwell in its aftermath'. It's like the poet is taking a calm and measured approach to inspecting the aftermath - the cost of peace, because they realize the storm/the war is over, signaling that they're ready to move on.

    Going into my favourites!

    • 3 years ago

      by Sunshine

      going into my praised, you read them like you wrote them.