I sit here wonder the purpose of my life;
am I living it for me or for someone else,
if someone else, then who?
I cannot find me.
I am lost and carried away with the daily duties and responsibilities.
what am I doing?
the fear of judgement puts me in the corner,
where I feel a total loner.
I was never like this,
Is it the discovery of restricted love I feel towards the same sex?
that is not known “normal” where I come from,
that I unknowingly put myself on the side.(alienate myself)
You don’t believe when I tell you that,
it is taking away every bit and inches of my confidence by the second.
I don’t know who to call out.
I am still locked in the cage.
I am ready and want to come out the closet but
but the fear so big that I step back.
I step back and be the loyal pet,
take on the duty that I am most aware and known for.
I need love man;
I wish someone hear me out
and drag the desire from me within.
To be honest, I do not even know what I am but
but I tell you, the one you see is not the real me.
God, I pray to you and ask for you to send me someone
who can hear me and help me organize my feelings.