Comments : In 13 (5)

  • 3 months ago

    by nourayasmine

    Hey, I'd love to try this 13-word-poem thing you're doing. Is it a challenge or a contest here?

    This one stood out to me. The happiness you're feeling now is only fake, that after a while, it melts into exhaustive depression. Loved that.

    • 3 months ago

      by Rania Moallem

      Thank you Noura! And no not here. Just a writing prompt. But sounds like a good idea to bring it here as several people have asked already. We'll go for it!

  • 3 months ago

    by Violet Raven

    The visuals here are stunning and that in my eyes makes this well written. Perhaps i am biased because i am a visual poet but you did well to make a story out of it and the metaphors are beautiful.

    You had warmth in your life and in what you wrote it feels like either you or another person were that sun and all was good in your life. But over time that sun vanished and i feel like the salt is a keyword because salt could mean anger. So the sun was too hot and it burned anyone in it's way.

    So the sun made you lose yourself and you vanished (you lost yourself quietly because your voice was silenced).

    You got lost into an ocean that you drowned in from sleepless nights and tears. And in that you break the dawn. I believe the dawn breaking means you sleep at dawn now because of the presumption of insomnia. Anyways i also loved this.