This is so eloquent yet heartbreaking and mournful... all at the same time. The inclusion of the instruments, and the emotion behind the music and feelings you can't allow yourself to be submerged in. The need to protect others and keep going yet the weight of lost time following you. Each time I read this, I feel even more emotions. The very tangible loss of someone and the process and purpose of grieving them, of knowing how many people they encouraged and spread light to. And also, the intangible. The way we want to be intimate with others and how that isn't necessarily possible at this time.
Simply beautiful. I love the second stanza..."I do not have time to mourn and yet the music starts." It makes me think of a bystander during a funeral procession - someone who wishes they weren't there or that they didn't have to go through this but feels torn apart by the music in spite of their best effort.