I'm sorry that I flinch,
Although your touch would never land a blow,
I am sorry for the times I scream,
From dangers that I no longer experience and know.
I do apologise for the frailty, and how many times you must state your love,
I truly carry the burden, of never feeling I am good enough.
I am terribly sorry for all the panic and outbursts, from all of my fears,
I mourn from my sorrow that I put you through this, Most of all, the excess of tears.
I am sorry for how harsh I am, and how ruthlessly cold I am, to cope,
I am sorriest for when I turn my back, when all you give is hope,
I apologize from my very core, that showing love to me makes me wary,
And I am sorry through all the gentleness, this brain can only read you as scary.
I am sorry for how restless you must feel, showing me love and only kindness,
and how in return, my trauma sometimes veils me with blindness.
I am trying hard every day to show I love you just as much as you love me,
Sometimes I just hold you tighter, when all I can say is "I'm sorry".
But I thank you for your patience, even when my walls are cold,
I am grateful for your gentle touch when my upset near makes you fold,
I never tell you how much it means when even in anger you tell me that you care,
I never get to say, I am relieved when you are always there.
I thank you every day, and always will, to my very core,
Thank you just isn't enough, I always want to give you more,
But thank you for loving me when the world broke me, and I feel nothing but ugliness inside,
Thank you for holding me when I need you, and staying by my side.
I am grateful for the love you give me, and the authenticity of your smile,
How beautiful you are to me, even when loving me can feel like a trial,
I want you to know deeply how much I trust you, that you make my days a little better,
That's why I know in my heart, I won't take you for granted. I promise to love you, forever.