Beautifully sad Ben....loss is such a funny thing, not in the ha-ha sense, but in how it can twist us to unrecognizable beings. How it can tear our hearts out to the point of never recovering. I felt your loss with this piece. Hugs-
if only we could communicate with those now not in our world. I often find myself talking to my late sister and sometimes ache for her response. In the early days and sometimes now, I would emotionally beat myself with regrets. Why didn't i... what if i had... and so on! What we do, is all we can and that is to live a life and wear the pain as another layer atop the others. It is a wonder why we always feel so cold!?