Comments : Corrosion

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    The past is never easy to escape, but if we don't find a way, it truly can be corrosive. This is excellent, Rania. Nominated.

  • 1 year ago

    by Katrynn

    An amazing poem, loved this :)

  • 1 year ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    I like this. I hope you are well. X

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Hello Rania, the title 'Corrosion' to me is a sombre one as it means to destroy or weaken something, possibly even someone in this instance, gradually overtime although a person can destroy someone instantly with words, unfortunately.

    You've been eating away
    at my conscience for a decade.
    ^

    The opening is image filled and it makes me wonder who has been playing on your mind for the past decade.. That's a long time for this to be happening but it shows, to me atleast' that this person meant alot to you whether it be family, friend or a lover.

    I taste you in random slips of tongue
    and flee your dusty shadow in lucid dreams.
    ^
    To taste someone in this way is both, horrible but majestic, it makes me believe that this is about an ex lover, possibly and the 'slips of your tongue' are saying their name unbeknowingly and when you realise you kind of kick yourself as you know you need to move on but when someone means a lot to you that's when things get tricky and stops us from doing so even if we try so hard to.

    But here you are, collapsing inside me,
    breaking down like metal in saltwater..
    ^
    Wow, I don't have many words here but this part left me gasping for breath, truly. The image, again, is amazing and I now know why you chose to call this corrosion, very good in my humble opinion.

    and I am demented with metallic colors
    and I am sick of the smell of rust.
    ^
    To be 'demented' really doesn't sound good but sometimes in love or, like here (I think), lost love were unable to think straight/clearly sometimes, aren't we?? Which leads to us making rash decisions, unfortunately though hindsight is a wonderful thing.
    An excellent piece which I'm glad to see nominated,
    Em x

  • 1 year ago

    by Maher

    Damn heavy, like the metal it mentions. Inshallah all is well, happy to chat whenever you like.

  • 1 year ago

    by RM

    Thank you Ben and everyone else for your lovely comments <3