Comments : Once mine but gone forever..

  • 2 years ago

    by BOB GALLO

    Dear Ange I really like what you're trying to do here, Your poetical moments are amazing. You have very deep claw in poetry, whether you know that or not. But here your feeling, your inspiration did not last to your end yet you wanted to go more because you got so exited
    I love your poetry. I hope you always keep on going and flourishing.

    • 2 years ago

      by The Fallen Angel

      Thank you David! Yea I just didn’t know how to end it. I got stuck while writing and I ended it abruptly.

      Your suggestions and criticisms are always welcome. It will help me improve my writing

  • 2 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "You became a seamless shade,
    in the rays of this scorching sun,
    and I burned myself to ashes
    searching for you"

    - These are my favorite lines. Your emotion pours out in your verses and really highlights the loss of someone, how their absence can have such a great effect.

    There were a few parts where I thought adding an article or pronoun might help?
    "and so I froze to statue," ---> "and so I froze to a statue,"
    or even "and so I froze like a statue"

    "My heart has been forsaken,
    and am left alone," ---> adding an "I" so "and I am left alone"

    Enjoyed reading!