The lost that is yet to be found

It took me years to admit that I am nothing but the shadow of the girl that I used to be

It took me eons to understand that life is a prison and the endgame is to be set free

That love is a lie sold to us as a means to an end

That friendship is a trap, a charade, a mere game of pretend

That knowledge is a pill, hard to swallow yet a much-needed cure

When infested minds overtake your heart, your mind and your very own soul

That money is greed yet somehow the currency to your needs

That wants and desires are the catalysts, the devil’s seeds

That the future is the victim of sunken hopes

And dreams are the ghosts of regrets and all those "Nopes"

I don’t understand the chaos within my soul

I seek things I know for sure will make me whole

Yet somehow the more I take, the emptier I feel

As if each time I leave behind a part of me as part of the deal

Yet I don’t remember agreeing to any terms and conditions

Did I venture into a land of willful submissions ?

I am lost indeed, yet I am always found

By my demons and ghosts to which I am bound

Never have I ever felt so alone

Rather, it’s the crowds that terrify me to the bone

Silence and noise have always felt so right

But the loud silence of loneliness I feel amidst others is my un-chosen fight

I like to pick my own battles whenever I can

However, fate seems to enjoy throwing me around like a madman

I am nothing but the shadow of the girl I once was

I am a monster begotten by sewing together pieces of flaws

A lackey in a battlefield of a war I did not choose to take part in

Yet somehow I am the side character of my story when-

All I need is to be at peace within my own mind

To have these voices silenced and leave the battlefield behind