Perhaps

Such a night should I change even more? So much is expected and yet if eels like I fall short . The risk of failure is high I keep fighting foward but at times is overwhelming perhaps if I hide the outcome might change perhaps if I run or scream tomorrow will be a better day . So much is expected being pulled one way and another so many thoughts so many reasons to just quit I look towards the future I see a change also alot of pain maybe the winter rain can hide all my tears and take with it all my fears it seems like im the only one who is supposed to care and yet nobody can see all my pain so much is expected so much care is demanded while I sink in deeper in misery but to everybody iam fine maybe if I go back to my old cage I could find my peace once more so many thoughts but none are mine my soul is so tired iam so tired of pretending to be fine when inside I'm screaming in pain my world keeps falling apart but to everybody iam fine such a life being strong for others and breaking apart for myself so many masks I don't even know who iam anymore ..... a smile here and there seems to do the job from time to time nobody seems to notice that iam damaged beyond repair perhaps nobody seems to care as long as I do what is expected everything is fine all is fine keep all the pain inside hold back the tears because iam a strong man I must show you confidence and security even if I'm dying maybe one day all the masks will fall and only me will I see in the mirror but would I recognize him? Such thoughts race through my head on a still night