love, tolerance, and harm

the fallacy of boyhood
a starting line with no end
when will you grow into your height?
when your knees hit your chest and your tears leave your eyes
you shrink smaller
soften a bit,
yet your solid outside remains

a hard-boiled egg–
shell on
i can’t crack you open
not even that i want to
i held you gently even as you dragged me down
i sang in your ear as you mangled my sense of reality

you are magical–
a miraculous success it was
how well you did
not only did you unwind the yarn
but you pulled at the fibers
absolutely destroyed it
until it was unrecognizable

i am unrecognizable
the woman i am today
little me
yes, little me
i grow taller
i hope you don’t grow cold in my shadow
but still, i have enough God in my heart that i’d wish warmth for you

and i remember the warmth i owe you every time i say:
…forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us

because in the end
its your faults, my anger, your shame, my bitterness
and it kills
it kills
it kills.