I'd like

I'd like to have a gun.
I'd like to point it to my temple.
I'd like to pull the triger.

But I don't have a gun.
I can't put it to my temple.
And I can't pull the triger.

Last night,
I remembered a night.....
I provoked you, Darrell.

I kissed you first.
I was 7!
But still I kissed you first.

I'd like to have that gun.
But I'll live for now.
I wish I did have that gun though!!

I hate remembering.
Knowing what you did.
And being scared to see you again.

I hate knowing what I know.
Knowing I'll be a victim,
Until I can heal.

It's not fair.
Your conscience is fine.
Mine keeps saying, "Why'd you do that?"

There is not escape
Until I heal.
Which won't be for a while.