Addiction

I did it again
The familiar pain
I thought I was better
I have no one to blame

I watch in regret
At the blood on my skin
I thought I had stopped
There is no way to win

I should be happy
I don't understand
This addiction consumes me
Inflicted by hand

I do not need help
Just to release
My feelings and thoughts
That I cannot cease

I must be selfish
For it could be worse
I had no real reason
This is some kind of curse

I want to explain
But it is just too hard
I watch the blood drip
My skin is now marred

I know you're concerned
I really do care
I want to stop
For you, it's not fair

I promise I'll try
But I can't guarantee
It is not your fault
The problem is me.