Black Tearstains

There's mascara on my pillow case
From crying myself to sleep
My tears turn to black
And stain my pretty sheets

The smudges remind me every night
As I crawl into my bed
Of just how unhappy I am
And of the reasons that I've bled

There's blood on my sweatshirt sleeves
From wounds that did not mend
The marks of my suffering
With which I must contend

The scars a constant reminder
They are with me every day
They won't let me forget
I can never get away

There are tears in my eyes
They brim but just won't fall
I need a different way to cope
I cannot cry at all

I am walking around with evidence
Because these scars are part of me
And unless I want to show them off
I have to wear long sleeves

Theres dark circles under my eyes
From smeared makeup and no sleep
The moment my head touches the pillow
I'm filled with red-tinged dreams

Can I never have a minute
In which I can forget
All the blood, and tears, and pain
I'm so tired of this shit

There's smudges on my cheeks
From where my mascara ran
I feel like I'm a rock
Sinking in hot sand

My pillow case is ruined
The black will not come out
My wrists are all ripped up
And my mind is filled with doubt