On the edge

I am on the edge of doing it the gun in my hand
this is what life is for me aint it grand
i dont want to die and yet i cant hardly wait
but i know if i do it i wont see a heavenly gate
sometimes i imagine my self in a cold dark grave
but i wonder why death is all i crave
ive tried to open my mind to life and see the sign
but when i do everything around is bright and i am blind
so tell me oh god just why did you create me
i feel trapped and i can not free my self from me
so ill ask you once more you know i want to go why do you hesitate he said
besides the thought of his passed daughter and wife a 357 bullet was the last thing to go through his head