Where were you?

All i wanted was something you couldn't give.
All i wanted from you was a life you couldn't live.
You say that i am to blame.
I look at you and feel nothing but shame.
You used to cry to me on the phone.
But now you look at me and see how much i've grown.
3 kids that you never see.
My 2 younger sisters and me.
I raised those 2 from birth.
I gave them everything that i was worth.
What did you bring to the table?
Nothing because you were never stable.
You weren't ever there.
That goes to show how much you used to care.
This is the life i made for myself.
This life goes with all the cards that i got dealt.
Sure i could blame myself for your mistakes.
Yeah i could try and help you fill in the blanks.
But it's not my fault you lost it all.
And now your starting to fall.
Do you remember when i used to get beat?
Do you remember throwing a party when i tried to sleep?
I almost got jumped when i was a kid.
You doubt me but yeah...i did.
A 21 year old Vs. a 5 year old.
If you ask me that sounds pretty cold.
Never once did you ask me how i felt.
After the parties i would get hit by a belt.
I remember when you used to help.
That right there made me melt.
I was your own flesh and blood.
Watching you made my eyes flood.
With nothing but solid tears.
That right there brought out my worst fears.
Fears of my 2 younger sisters going through that.
But talking to you will only bring that fear back.
I'm glad it was me and not those 2.
Because i would have killed you.
They are my pride and joy.
They always were ever since i was just a boy.
5 years old and raising 2.
That doesn't seem like something i could do.
I look back and wonder...Where were you?