very well written, just a little thorn in my eye is the line "Come on, Jimilee, stay with me!" - it interupts the flow, maybe you should think about it, but the content is very well thought out

That is the one line I couldn't change. That is the line that personalizes the whole story. This is about me, and I couldn't take my name out of it. Thanks for the comment tho! :-)

wow...very unique, i love it!

Gave me chills. Excellent poem.

I am indeed.

WOW. This is brilliant. very unique and well written. i have to dissagree with Nefarius, i don't think that line disturbs the flow of the poem at all. tc. xmollyxx

whoa...amazing....that's awesome...creative imaginative...good job <3 xxxx
-Mortalidaga
xxTakeCarexx

Whhoa that's Awesome! Very well written!

Hi this poem is realy good, I love the way its short but harsh and it realy makes you think nice one!!!! xx

Poetry from a different angle, experimentation wonderful