Thunder war

by XxlydiaxX   Oct 31, 2004


The sky is calm and clear,
The world has nothing to fear,
The Grey clouds cover the sun from sight,
The troops come prepared to fight,
The skies begins rumbling,
The troops load guns ready for the killing,
The thunder clap is herd all around,
The gun shots are the only sound,
The sky lights up for every ones viewing,
The massive bomb stops ticking,
The rain starts to drop,
The troop’s lives come to an end.

ok this is crap i did it for school , i just wanted to know what you guys thought about it love lid xxXxx

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Vegetable

    It's not crap! it's actually good. It brings lots of images to mind. Good Job.

  • 19 years ago

    by SavannahSurrender

    I reallyl like this! great job! I give it 5/5 take a look at my times if u get the time!

    much love
    xX~savannah~Xx

  • 19 years ago

    by Timothy B

    aldo you say it's crap, I find it an excelent poem. keep it up

  • 19 years ago

    by paperdoll

    Strongly agreeing with the above comments: doesn't matter if you did it for school or not, its still pretty good. The comparison between the storm and the war builds tension and creates a great atmosphere. Keep writing.

    -paperdoll

    P.S: Judging from your comments, I wasn't expecting your poetry to be legible, much less expecting it to be as good as it was. Maybe try using less slang in your comments so that they're easier to read.

  • 19 years ago

    by My Obsεssion

    I thought that was pretty good, such an interesting way to think of it. Keep it up.

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