My long lost life...

I sit here with the knife
Trying to find my long lost life.
I wish all this pain would end
Sadness is my only friend.

I cut the skin
The blood comes from within.
I don't cut deep yet again
I just can't make all this pain end.

I don't have the guts finish this
I can't even grant my own wish.
I always bleed enough to cry
I'll never bleed enough to die.

I guess I'll put the knife away
I'll be seeing it again today.
After everyone falls asleep
To the kitchen I will creep.

I'll grab the drawer and pull it out
You know what this will be about.
As I reach for that knife
I'll finally lose my hated life!