Deep Confusion

Best friends forever
That’s what we used to say
But why am I feeling this ?
Why am I not alright today ?
Why am I thinking of you ?
In another different way ?

I hate it when I see you talking to girls
I want to run to you and ask you why ?
But then I stop my self
He's not for me , isn’t my guy
I hate it when I think about you
I hate it when I sit alone and cry

I sit and think
What do you think of me?
I try to find an answer !
To me , what is he ?
A friend ? a lover ?
What do I want him to be ?

I keep fighting the thoughts in my head !
The questions that keep popping in my mind !
But when he asks me what's wrong !
I close my heart , I shut my feelings , I hide ..

One time I imagine him
Sitting with another chick
That thought bothers me !
Makes me jealous , makes me sick !

But then if I imagine him
Holding my hand and singing me a love song !
I feel that’s its awkward
Loving him is totally wrong !

So I have decided one thing
What is our future together?
That’s a question that I will leave for the days
Wait for its answer until forever...

But for now
I will count him as a close friend
Helping me with my life
Being there for me until the end

Whatever the future hides for us
I will always thank God above
Whether we share friendship
Or true deep love …

I thank God for this blessing
Having the chance to know this boy
He brightened my life and for many times
Filled my heart with deep pure joy ..