Wondering

Wondering if I'm pregnant
poking and prodding my belly
scared to answer the question
my brain has turned into jelly

am i only imagining my breasts hurt?
that my abdomen is expanding?
i really want some answers
its the truth that I'm demanding

it was my decision
to have sex unprotected
now I'm too scared
to go get tested

i couldn't kill my baby
I'd rather kill myself
but i can't support a kid
not without some help

adoption?
there's loving parents out there
people who want a child
who've been looking everywhere

if i am with child
i want him/her to have a better life
that wouldn't be with me
with my family filled with strife