No one to break the fall

by Laura   Nov 16, 2004


This girl cant take the pain of the blow. shes emotionally unstable. especially when esteem runs low, she gets more and more incapable.
when it comes to life, she isn't so strong. she uses the knife, she wants to be gone.
if she wasn't here everything would be better, she cries many tears when writing the letter.
the letter about why she did it. the letter about how she felt. she grabbed the knife and made some slits then to her knees she fell
so she lies there dead in her room, no one caring at all. when she fell, she landed with a boom, because no one was there to break her fall...

~please make sure to comment and let me know what i can do to make it better!!~

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  • 19 years ago

    by Johnny Marlin 2

    Excellent poem, the concept and feelings portrayed were awesome. As for making it better. Pay some attention to syllables. For Example...

    I have a gun
    it's over their
    how many shots
    to show you that i really do care

    although it rhymes, it isn't as smooth, because the last line is so long. Hope I helped... Jason