Do it only for you

She’s scared,
Her hearts telling her one thing,
Her head another,
She’s drawn between the two
Popularity in mind
Will they ever discover?
To be cool and fit in,
For him to not turn away
Her innocence she will give up,
For her liking she hope’s he will stay.
She doesn’t want to do it
Deep down she knows the truth,
But she pushes her fears, beliefes and morals aside.
She decides to do it anyway even though every bone in her body is now screaming no way.
The dreaded night she had been waiting for had come,
What should she do?
Is he worth all the drilling pain, can’t take hearing her screaming name.
How has it come to this after she promised herself it never would.
Love had over taken her she never thought it could.
All she wants is a trusting voice to tell her what to do,
To tell her what was about to happen tell her it wasn’t true.
She touches her lips
Can feel the painful, dreaded kiss of what had happened,
She doesn’t know why it had to come to this.
She sits there shaking and starring at him, he’s laughing at her.
Like everything she just did was a game, laughing at her like she’s insane.
She gave up something for him, something she never thought she would.
Gave up something for him, something her heart told her she never could.
She runs to the bathroom thinking about his sly grin
Because of this moment she feels her life is but a sin.
As she stares at the mirror hearing voices in her head,
Whispering why? Why didn’t you try and stop it?
If someone doesn’t get to her soon then death will instead.
The fear of what people will think, what did she do she was only but a child.
Her imagination is going completely wild.
She cant go on living with this memory is her head, but it just wont go away
She doesn’t feel she’s strong enough to stay.
On this night, a knife sitting next to her,
The temptation of a slice it would end her life.
What should she do alive or dead,
What should she do thoughts running through her head.
She’s screaming,
She doesn’t understand she thinks no one cares depression held her hand.

She could get through it if she really tried,
But if only once that memory played again,
In her room she would lock herself and hide.
Twenty years later, now thirty-four
She’s still alive, family and all.
Expect the thought still remains the same,
The look in his eyes like it was all a game.
But she’s moved on and became, because of that memory extremely strong.
She has new beliefs morals too and lets just hope for the sake of her life she will always be true.
Please think twice before you make the same mistake as her
Please don’t go off track because once something like that has gone it will never come back.

Written by Amanda McMeekin