Who i am.....?

I'm out in the cold, standing all alone, no were to go but follow along.

all i want to do is to be loved. my home is a mess and at school i feel like a bomb. ticking away ready to explode. killing thousands. why am i liked but yet hated. why do i feel no one likes me? its just at school no were else except for my house were i do not belong.
why do i feel like i don't belong. why do i laugh and make it a joke? how come i only belong if I'm a joke?
why doesn't he like me what did i do? all i want to no is the truth, unforgettable mistakes carry on. why cant it just leave me alone?
why do i care what he thinks? i have a boy friend and yet i want him to like me so god damn bad? god please tell me a reason... Is this the way i am? am seen as a person to hate am i annoying? that couldn't be possible since i don't even no who i am? what am i god? please tell me? all i want to do is fit in? be loved for who i am? and not how i present my self. i have lots of friends but most are not true, god please let me find out who i am?