My Secret...Until Now

I look at the world and the people in it
And inside my head I’m throwing a fit
So much tragedy within this place
And here I am walking and hiding my face

Afraid to show who I really am
So I wear a mask and devise a plan
I can wear my mask everyday
And make these people think that I’m okay

But when I’m alone, I know that’s not true
It’s just that I don’t want to give them a clue
A clue to who I am and how I feel
That I cut myself and throw up every meal

I take the razor and glide it down my wrists
I can get to a paradise by doing this
When I don’t have a razor my hand goes down my throat
And my feelings come out as a discolored moat

Doing these things release my pain
It helps me live, and it helps me gain
It makes me think that about myself I care
Though I know I’m only blinded by depression’s stare

Even so, at this time, and in this place
I must never show them my true face
I must wear my mask everyday
And make them think that I’m okay

I can’t let them know that I cry in bed
Listening to the screams inside my head
Screams that say, “Let me out, let me out!”
Screams my heart soon also shout

Some people cared, I’m not going to lie
Some people made my painful heart fly
They helped me through and ended my strife
But now they have left and I have no point in life

I now must leave this tragic-filled place
I can no longer fight to hide my face
I have kept my secret to never let them know
That each day I throw up and each night let blood flow

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