Dad

I hated you
and partly i still do
now you are gone
and i can't help but wonder
if my caring would have prevented
that awful day
when you went out for coffee
and never came back

i didn't notice
never really cared
just sat in my room
and wished my mom was there
then the phone rang
and the police were on the phone
they said you were lost

they waited for some sobbing
they wanted a tear
i didn't give in to their simply request
i just dropped the phone
didn't need to confess

they knew how i felt
better than anyone else
that the hitting and yelling
the blood and tears
would be all i had
to know you all those years

i never told my mom
of that sad funeral date
i never cared
about their sad faces
they didn't understand
and no one ever will
the torture i suffered
every time you yelled

you told me to love you
as you had my mother
i didn't want to
and you didn't understand
yet when i tried to explain
you ignored and forgot
so you deserved no better
than how you treated me

so i left it at that
and forever i will
i will never regret
nor will i forget
yet i still wont say bye
for your evil never died