RIP me

They told me I was too crazy
Chucked me from school for being too wild
My mummy gave up in dispair on me
She said she wished I wasn't her child.

She told me when I was a little boy
She was happy with me and so proud
She said I was gonna be a good man
Said I would stand out in the crowd.

I found a good way of standing out
My mummy said I caused misery
But nobody was able to realise
I was just angry at what the bullies did to me.

When in the days my mummy was happy
I was dying inside
Every day the bullies would torment
But behind my eyes I would hide.

It seemed like I was two people
An alien inside my own skin
And the bullies hated my outer layer
So they pushed out the evil from within.

So now the monster in me is let lose,
And my mummy has given up hope,
I do not blame her really
But doing this is the only way to cope.

So mummy please come to my funeral
Even if it's just for the ride,
Even if it means when they are mourning
You are just yawning inside.

I just want to tell you mummy
That I didn't mean to hurt you
I never wanted to cause pain
That was the thing I didn't want to do.

I just couldn't help my thinking
That I could beat the bullies some day
But now I have fulfilled my life
And I'm gonna kill myself some way.