Seeing him listen,
Without that sad glint in his eyes,
Seeing that I make him smile,
Seeing that he actually tries,
Knowing that he approves of me as his daughter,
Seeing him wink at me,
Feeling his warm arms,
Keeping me safe to a certain degree,
Being loved by him,
For the first time in years,
Remembering when I was his little girl,
When I never had any of these tears.
But having that feelings in my heart,
Knowing that when we return home,
He’ll stop this love,
And in his thoughts shall roam alone.
But keep these feelings locked within,
Don’t forget that new years promise,
Don’t let a soul know how you feel,
Let them think you’re in a happy bliss,
Where your daddy loves you 24/7,
Like others seem to do,
But these burning tears running now,
A part of me always knew,
That you would not be loved like your friends,
You’re not as good,
Not as nice,
But why do I say it how someone else would?
I’m forever looking down on my self,
Seeing as the others do,
Seeing everything I do wrong,
Being reminding by a part of me that this is all true,
I wish I could float out of me,
Become brand new,
Kill the parts of me who tell of everything bad,
Let me feel just like you.
Then once again,
I see I have done another thing wrong,
By writing this poem,
I forget where I belong,
I should have been listening to you,
Instead of writing down how I feel,
I should have been comforting you,
Because your feelings must be more real,
I feel like a ghost,
And that I can’t be truly here,
Otherwise people would see me,
And my voice would be clear.
I’m talking of my real person,
And my real words and voice,
Not this fake one,
That does nothing by her own choice,
I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry,
Is all I can think anymore,
This time I’m sorry for writing this,
Sorry for letting my feelings win the war.
*It started about my dad, wandered off sorry*
*sorry its long, sorry for writing it*
