Almost suicide

I hold my knife
I hold it dear
I see it move nearer and nearer
I have my face in a pillow so no one can here
My emotion of sadness has turned to fear
Then I stop to think about my family and bestfriend
If I do this will they ever mend?
I put it down full of fright
What was I thinking..this night?
The next day I saw them smile
And I know putting down the knife made it worth while