How did mum see it.. me?

When you open that door,
And I’m sure one day you shall,
Remember the people who stand there,
They must never figure how,
How you shake, and why you do so,
When ever around me,
Why you cry and scream when someone,
Someone touches you,
Someone tries to keep you near,

When you open that door,
What will happen then?
Because your in another’s shoes remember,
Sure look down,
See your brother’s boots,
Remember you have got to keep to what he said,
Think about what he would have done,
Remember its not you,
You’re in his shoes, so stop look down and think,
What have you done?

You looked out the window today,
You let out a sigh as if ungrateful,
I shouted at you briefly, gave you a little lesson,
You always seem to cry, I don’t understand why,
All I did was get a belt and showed you it had metal,
I know it hurt, but that’s the whole point,
It’s to show you that the window is for another,
And the door should stay shut,

To dream of opening up,
Looking out that window with a sigh,
The metal from a belt has to stop it,
And cut away in the night I hear and see you do,
To open that door and let it go,
Let the people know,
What will happen then?
Remember its not you,
They are not your shoes,
Sure look down and see the big black boots,

You took so much away from me,
My child I’m told to love,
Your hair flowing down your back,
He used to comment on that,
He thought the boots a bribe,
A way to keep you quiet,
And if you take from granted,
Anything we give and taken,
Then god so help me I may make a mistake,

You looked at the door once didn’t you?
Remember what happened?
For I remember well,
You got a knife to your throat,
Only saved by the door bell,
Your brother made you feel better,
He always says he does,
But still you seem to cry,
And cut yourself in the night,
It sometimes makes me smile,
As you suffer for my loss,

You took away my life you know,
All the life I had and bliss,
I like to drink don’t I?
You always seem so sad,
Why cant you just be happy for me?
You selfish little brat,
I came home a few nights ago,
You sitting on the stairs,
Everything so silent as I entered the house,
Your eyes in the dark were upon me,
I don’t like it when you stare,

Do you mock me child?
I’m allowed to have some fun!!!
Seeing the sadness in your eyes,
I take a stumble and grab your throat,
I speak while spitting in your face,
Your little hands grip my arms trying to push me away,
It makes me feel good you know,
To see you go through pain,
Makes me feel better as if I am regaining some of the fun you took away,

You end up in hospital,
Saying you tripped,
NO... No fell down the stairs,
Your eyes they looked so full of misery and pain,
Good!!!… I smiled to myself,
I will tell her I love her,
I must admit I do,
The way she makes me feel good when I hurt her and see her struggle to get away,
She almost makes me feel new,

You came home last week,
You dropped a few things since,
You haven’t looked out the window much,
You stayed by the sink,
The door, well you never even think,
As you look down at the boots,
He said he’s going to make you feel good again,
Good again tonight,
You seem so sad about that,
And I really didn’t know why,
I make me laugh to see you cry,
You disgust me child,
I never wanted you by my side,
I don’t want your understanding,
I just want you to disappear,
And stop complaining to yourself about not being loved,
Because listen to me and listen good,
Your worthless, not loved, never wanted,
Just leave the world and make it a better place….
I don’t care..!!!

My child, I never need you,
And I don’t want your begging,
You make me sick at the sight of you,
My child, not mine,
Not known,
Just leave….
Leave me alone…
No?