Our Baby

by Eloquent Tears   Feb 14, 2005


We would work so hard, for this bundle of joy,
that it wouldnt even matter if it was a girl or a boy.
It would have daddy's smile and, mommy's frown.
Skin so smooth and,
Chocolatey caramel brown
Hair so soft that curls up tight
eyes that sparkle in the night
but since we are nothing but babies ourselves we will wait til the time is right!

Vote and let me know what you think!
I am, therefore i Write.
~E.T~

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Roxiee An

    Nice and awesome . 5 for it

  • 19 years ago

    by Kristin

    awe thats cute!!! lol yah good idea on the waitin part hehe!

  • 19 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    hey that was really touching. A few grammatical things to make it flow a bit smoother...
    "Hair -- so soft! -- that curls up tight"
    the reason I suggest that change is because I think the meaning of the line is twofold:
    1. "hair that curls up tight"
    and
    2. "the hair is so soft"

    "but since we are nothing but babies ourselves we will wait til the time is right!
    "
    I say you make that into two lines and make a few contractions:
    "but since we are nothing but babies ourselves
    we'll wait 'til the time is right!"
    like so.

    Anyhow, good poem.

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