Drowning

My pain is enough to drown me
It grabs at me
And pulls me
It wants to pull me under
Like I’m weak
I scream so loud
That I go deaf from the sound
But nobody hears anything
I cry so hard
That I can’t cry just one more tear
But nobody sees my tears if i do cry
That’s when my pain pull me
Harder than it has ever pulled before
It wants to take me
Take me and kill me
Drown me in it
I can’t make a sound
Because my eyes are all cried out
And my voice is all voiced out
There’s nothing I can do
There’s nothing I can say
I try to keep myself up
Try and float on top of it
But I go under
Kicking and fighting
It pulls me under
Sometimes I get out right away
But other times I come up
Gasping for the air
Sometimes there’s a floatation device
That I can hang onto for a while
And sometimes there’s a shark
And I have to hide
To stay afloat and alive
So many things try
To pull me under
Most of them fail
But sometimes I get yanked
By surprise
And I go under so far
That it feels impossible
To get back up and out
My voice comes back
My tears come back
And I scream and cry
Until there’s nothing left
And I get pulled down again
Yanked so far away
from the surface
I feel as if the next move
I make
Will cost me my life
I fight and kick
And try to reach the top
Where I can breathe
Nobody ever lends a hand
To pull me out
They don’t care
Or they don’t know
It’s a silent death
That most don’t know about
And most wont know about
But now I wonder
What would happen
If I didn’t try...
If I just let it pull me
Would there be a bottom?
Would I reach and end?
Or would I die
A shameful death
From the pain
I am constantly running from
That someday will kill me
when I have no voice left
And I wont be able to cry
because i wont have tears left
I would just silently die