My child i never knew|lost on 18thbday

I got pregnant at 17 and i was so happy that i was going to have a kid. i always wanted one..
BUT everything changed on my 18th birthday..it was the worst thing that ever happened to me..and the day i will never forget

Now being 22 i regret and blame my self for my baby's death.. if i wasn't with a abusive boyfriend i would of had my baby.. i was stupid but didn't know anything at 15-17.. now that I'm older i know now..

ON my 18th birthday my abusive exboyfrend that i was so in-love with and was my first of everything
pushed me down the stairs and killed my baby..
whats sad is i didn't even no if it was a girl or boy..

Since then i couldn't have another baby.. and i didnt have birthdays anymore cause of it. but i did get rid of the abusive boyfriend.. at age 20 but thats another diffrent story..

I HAVE A POEM ON THIS BUT NOT DONE YET..WHEN I DO I WILL SHOW IT...
THANKS