I should have realized

I should have realized, in my life, there are no such words as fun, games, happiness, joy, smile. My dictionary is filled with nothing but study, work, anger, sorrow, and tears.

Those crescent moons and grin marks you see across my face is nothing but a disguise blending the truth.

In my life there is nothing like love, joy, or happiness.

NO, behind those grins and laugh wrinkles is nothing but sorrow and pain.

They say a lotus flower grows in the filthiest of places. However, they lie. This gem has been ignored.

This lotus flower has died and wishes to be washed away from everyone's memories.

All that loved her, all that cared for her, all that admired her, all that nurtured her, all that loved her and promised her their hand when i am ready.

I wished to be washed away with the tide with my name never to return, and never to shed another tear of truth.