Delightful pain

What so scary about life? The beatings and screaming become part of my everyday life.

When the beating hurt so bad i cant move, and the screaming makes me cry, i take a smooth sharp blade and take it to my skin.

This is my delightful pain, it feels so good, i want more, this is my drug it so addicting.. i press harder, and harder oh man it hurts so bad and yet feels so good. i press a little bit harder..and then stop.

i pull the knife away.. i start to cry and scream.. how did this get so out of hand!?

i hold the cut..god its really deep.. the bleeding wont stop..i run my hand under cold water..i dont want to die..but i know i am anyways.

i rush to my desk and get out a piece of paper and pencil.. i have nothing to write.. my life flashed before my eyes... i see all those good times that i threw behind..
all of my friends cared so much.. they helped me through bad times.. and how do i repay them? by committing suicide..my teacher were so wonderful to me.. every time i got an A they would congratulate me. now my teachers will think they failed..

friends,

I'm so sorry i left like this. My cutting got so out of hand. I never meant to kill myself, just tried to relief a little pain, i didn't start cutting because of you. You guys cared so much. I am sorry that i went this far.

Teachers,
I love you so much, you and my friends cared so much. You believed in me and told me that i was beautiful and bright. I Dont blame my death on you, you were not the ones who made me do this.. my parents beat and screamed everyday..i hate them so much..look what they did to me.. you see the scars and the bruises and you asked me what happen.. i lied and told you i fell down the stairs.. or me and my friend got in a fight.. i hated lying to you guys.. i just wanted to come out and cry.

My life is getting shorter as i write this.. I am gonna get in my bed.. and go to sleep..maybe even have a peaceful dream before i go to this eternal sleep?

I'm so sorry i cause you guys all this pain.. i love you..

love always,
Margret

P.S. To my parents: i hate you so much... i hope you feel guilty and go to jail for abusing your child.

i know this poem isn't very good.. kinda wrote it off the top of my head.. please vote and comment.. give me suggestions on writing better poems..