I Am What I Hate

I know that it is wrong
To wish that I would die
But what else can I do
When my whole life is a lie

There always is a problem
And I always have to choose
No matter what I end up doing
I always seem to lose

I'm looking in the mirror
My eyes are soaking wet
What could be holding me back?
Why am I not dead yet?

Maybe theres something deep down
Telling me that its wrong
But how can this be true
If I feel like I don't belong

My eyes are feeling heavy
My heart has one big break
How much more sh*t is there to come
Cause theres not much more I can take

Problems come in quantities
And I cant hold this much weight
I didn't know it was possible
But I became something that I hate

** this poem blows.. i dont even know why im posting it...