Hate-my word

I word that fits me most
A word that is often used
A word that is like my name
A word thats always abused

I get it alot
But i don't mind
I try so hard
To leave it behind

It rolls around
In my mind alot
But then i abuse it
Into something its not

I take it out on my self
But what am i to do
If i really deserve it
I can't blame it on you

My scars will fade one day
my crys and fears will go
My scars will fade one day
Well thats what i hope

But for now
its hiding
Just marks on my skin
And leaving marks on my heart
Thats paper thin