Biggest fear

My answer to my problems was suicide
how i wanted to die was hard to decide
first thing i found was my dads gun
pulled the trigger.......
no harm done
tried to find a sharp knife
pulled it close wanting to end my life
death would suck but I'd be free
heaven or hell is where I'll be
pulled the knife for suicide to start
something stopped me.....
it was my hurt hard
burst out crying in a million tears
death was one of my biggest fears
I told myself I don't want to die
not with out finding my true guy