Throwing up my aching heart

In the dark I sit alone
My face dried out from crying
With everyone else I look happy and fine
But inside I’m slowly dieing

As I sit inside my lonely room
I think of what I’ve done in the past
About my disorder that took over me
When I didn’t think it would last

Casually skipping meals and lying
Was just the beginning of it all
But when the thought of another way came into play
Is when I took the biggest fall

It began very slowly
Only doing it when I was at my lowest low
But the low times just kept coming quicker
And to the bathroom I would quickly go

Throwing up my aching heart
Gave me a pleasing empty feel
This would make me feel so good
So I kept this un knowing and concealed

Beginning to crave the time
That I could throw up my aching heart
I realized that it has taken over me
Slowly tearing me apart

Alone again in my darkened room
Tears burn my eyes as I sit
Imagining what they will say
And if I should finally admit

Before I thought I could stop it
But now I know its slowly eating me away
Maybe I’ll figure out a way to fix this on my own
But for now this disorder’s going to stay